No, we’re not joking. Well, the comic was when he made these fake products. But we’re serious about the fact that these items are real and were in actual stores. They weren’t sold, but they were placed on store shelves for people to see them and most likely laugh at how outrageous they are.
Jeff Wysaski is the man behind these creations, and he brands himself under the name Obvious Plant. Jeff’s work has gained a lot of attention and he was even named “one of the funniest men” on the internet. His “products” range from toys, to brochures, to magazines, to Halloween costumes. All of them bogus and all of them with a sense of humor, sometimes clever and sometimes outright ridiculous. So let’s take a look at Jeff’s best work.
For Dads, By Dads
Have you heard of Dads the band? They’re a music group of four fathers (Walter, Gary, Frank, and another Walter). They make dad music for dads to enjoy.
Our favorite songs from this debut CD are “Turnin’ the Car Around,” “Time Flies When You’re Building a Deck,” and “Ask Your Mom.” This CD is mom-approved by the way!
Complete USA Doctor Kit
Yes, this doctor kit is actually hanging on a display wall at a store. And as you can see, the kit comes “complete” with a stethoscope and a bill for a whopping $98,000!
What better way to teach kids what it’s like to be a doctor than to listen to people’s heartbeats and hand them a bill for an unimaginable amount of money.
The next product is the perfect product for all those crusts that kids never want to eat!
Just the Crust!
Because all those crusts that kids leave on their plate can now be saved, packaged, and sold for other people who only like the crusts to enjoy. It’s a true yin and yang situation!
And as you can see, this was picked up in a real supermarket. And Obvious Plant keeps their products healthy – the wheat is whole grain!
A New Deodorant Hit the Shelves
Similar to the new car scent that is a real product, this is the new deodorant by Schwegg’s that is now featuring the wet dog scent. So if you want to feel and smell fresh after a shower, what better way than to rub some wet dog deodorant on your armpits?
The product is true to what they promise – no fraud here. They say it right on the packing: that distinct wet boy aroma!
Ever have trouble deciding on which sauce you want? The next product solves your dilemma.
Frank’s All-in-One Sauce
Now you don’t have to wonder which sauce to put on your fries or have to get a bunch of bottles and squirt out a dollop of each sauce neatly on your plate.
You can just buy Frank’s Every Sauce, which combines 16 sauces in one and squeeze that baby onto your plain and dry French fries and enjoy the smorgasbord of taste.
You Go, Girl!
Obvious Plant also makes in-store coupons that are stuck right onto the shelves. If you buy the chocolate peanut butter, you also get one free coupon. But when it says “free”, it really means something else.
What you get for free is some encouragement, sisterhood style. The cashier will yell “You go, girl” on the loudspeaker and you get to walk away feeling encouraged with high spirits. Or not…
If you’re thirsty, buy the next fake drink!
Thirsty? Drink Human Tears
A new product hit the shelves: Human Tears! And they’re being sold for an amazing price of $1.29.
Now you can enjoy the salty goodness of human suffering, or so the product description says. But we’ll be the judge of that.
Obvious Plant Magazine
Who needs National Geographic when you have Obvious Plant magazine? Forget learning about real things in the real world, now kids can learn absolutely nothing from this less than educational magazine.
There are 28 pages of fun facts and “info” and people named Randy will be pleasantly surprised by page 17.
Next, a pregnancy test by the last person you would expect to see on the packaging!
Brought to You By the Shaq!
Because any woman who goes to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy is thinking how much they wish they could also get their hands on Shaq stickers!
The good thing is it takes only 2 minutes to see the results. The not so good thing? It’s 90% accurate. So you might as well buy the real pregnancy test next to this one on the left.
Who Needs X-Box?
X-Box? Who needs that? The best hand-held game for kids to play these days is Dad Fighter. It’s a video game in which you can choose between 8 different dads that you want to fight.
You have macho dad, military dad, dad in a suit, and two others that are unclear what “types” of dads they are. But that’s beside the point. The point is for them to fight each other!
Where do you buy your meat? The next product isn’t what you expect to see in the meat aisle.
People Meat for the People!
This meat is for people from people like you! That’s right, 86% lean, 14% fat. This meat is your next best choice for the BBQ that you plan on hosting next weekend.
We wonder how many people (if any) actually picked up one of these items and went to the cashier to purchase it. And if someone tried to buy this, we need to know who it is. We have questions.
Throw Your Anger Away
Yes, it’s basically a Frisbee. But this one is special and has a more significant meaning. This Frisbee is a much cheaper option than going to see a therapist.
All you need to do is write why you’ve made on the disc and hurl it into the ocean. And boom! Your anger is gone. It’s as simple as that.
Next – the Incredible Hulk’s long lost twin.
The Incredible Fella
The Incredible Fella is part of the Revengers gang. They get together and go after all the bad guys who bullied them in high school.
They are in an endless tussle dealing with all the revenge. And Incredible Fella is struggling not to turn green so easily and so often.
If Spiderman didn’t already have a deep connection to spiders, he now is covered in them! He can’t get away from the creepy crawlers!
If you think this is a funny rendition of an actual superhero, you should see the next one.
When Super Villains are Real
Meets Crippling Depression, the new real super villain of the 21st century. He turns purple and blue and grips you to the core with grief and despair.
We’re so curious to know who the other real supervillains are! Maybe Crippling Depression teams up with The Incredible Hunger to really destroy the health of people.
Save it For a Rainy Day
This divorce poncho serves two purposes. For one, it will save you from getting wet on a rainy day. And the other purpose is to let everyone know you’re single and ready to mingle.
Because what’s a better way to tell the world that you’re single again than to wear the word “divorced” in bold font on a poncho. And on a poncho of all things!
What do you order to drink at Wendy’s? See the next fake product.
Can I get a Meat Soda With That?
When you order your burger and fries, you now get a new option for what drink to include in your combo. Meat soda, with a hint of ketchup, goes well on the side of a burger.
The packaging has a typo and we wonder if it’s his mistake or the mistake of foreign companies that must have made the design for dirt cheap.
The Useless Penguin
We’re stuck between two feelings: should we laugh at the hilarity of this ridiculous toy or should we feel bad for the penguin, which is also ridiculous considering it’s a fake product!
Let’s just enjoy the humor of it and agree that the penguin can’t fly and really is shaped like an egg.
The next packaged toy is another animal that Obvious Plant clearly isn’t fond of.
The Lazy Panda
We think that perhaps Jeff Wysaski, aside from just making random funny things, had a bad experience with pandas at a zoo he visited when he was young.
He thinks they’re lazy, only eat sticks, and won’t let him pet them because one panda at the zoo didn’t let him. Now all the pandas have a bad reputation because of that one black and white bear.
Adopt a Cat!
Meet Mishka. She likes cat treats. What does she not like? Well, she’s not a fan of being dressed up in business suits and brought to the office to show off to your coworkers.
So if that’s what you plan to do with Mishka, then you can keep on walking. Because this cat won’t let that fly anymore. She’s no longer a yes-cat.
You know those signs for sales and last minute gift ideas. Obvious Plant has some of those as well!
One Chicken Nugget
Are you a tiny man? Do you have a small appetite? Or do you have a squirrel that is for some reason in your house? Well, this store has a solution for you.
And it’s perfect last-minute gift idea, too. That’s right, one chicken nugget. Because sometimes, one nugget is all you need.
No, Not Bratz, Bradz!
Forget about the widely successful Bratz dolls, Bradz dolls are way better. Not only do you get a doll made by Brad, but you also get a free poster of Brad in the package!
And every Bradz doll in the collection is made by Brad. Brad!
Ever dreamed of having a tiny little bench? Well, now your dream has come true…
Bench: The Hot New Toy
The hot new toy bench has hundreds of uses (yet another typo!). You can touch it, pet it, punch it, lick it, point at it, play with it, and so much more.
This tiny little toy has so many options! There’s only one question that Obvious Plant has: how do you bench?
If your kid has all the superheroes and action figures and still isn’t happy, maybe it’s time to get them Useless Man, the man that contributes absolutely nothing to society!
He’s lazy, unwashed, and lies around eating chips all day. He can be part of your kids’ make-believe scenes that they play out on the bedroom floor. And now he comes with clothing! So that’s a bonus.
The next product is more of an educational poster, but the word educational is debatable.
Know the Ocean Zones
The ocean is vast and unknown to most people. So why not educate the children with what is inside the ocean? Here is a very “educational” poster showing what is actually under the surface.
That’s right, after the terror zone, you can find camels and snakes. Did you know that? Yeah, neither did we. But we just want to get to the Bonus Stage.
Another Last-Minute Gift Idea
Have you heard about the new sports Football? It’s so much fun! It’s America’s favorite “spornt.” And now you can get a picture of it on a plain white T-shirt.
And for a whole new price of $9.99! That’s a steal.
If you like these gifts, you’ll like the next one…
Beige Paint: Perfect for Kids
If you’re on your way out of the store and realized that you forgot to get a present for your kid’s birthday? Don’t worry, Obvious Plant has you covered.
Now half price, a can of beige paint is the perfect gift. And you can even have your kids paint the living room while they’re at it.
Not Everyone is a Sports Fan
For those kids who just don’t connect to sports and hate how all the toys are sports-related can now enjoy this bag of sports balls.
Like the package says, you just need to bury these balls in the woods so jocks can’t play with them. That’s the spirit!
Relaxing Rain Sounds CD
You’re going to have to try to ignore the cat in heat sounds in the background of the soothing rain sounds. She was in the garage, so it’s not that loud.
And the purchase of this CD is less for the ambiance and more to support this guy who clearly needs the money. So be a Good Samaritan.
Halloween Costume – A Last-Minute Buy
For those people who didn’t plan on dressing up for Halloween and didn’t prepare anything, but suddenly got invited to a party and realized they have nothing to wear, this is the solution.
Come to the party as a man stuck with his wife at the mall. You get all the bags included!
Remember Incredible Fella? He has a whole team of Revengers…
Collect All the Revengers!
Incredible Fella has a whole gang of Revengers and they hang out at the headquarters together until they’re called into action.
Our favorite member of the crew? The regular raccoon. Raccoons can be very feisty and aren’t very regular at all. But the warning says: do not eat the raccoon. It’s a choking hazard.
You Can Put it on the Fridge
As the sign says, these are all age appropriate. Yes, 5-year-olds should be able to change spark plugs as well as rub mommy’s feet.
And if any 9 years old refuses to bathe Grandpa, then he deserves a time out!
Interested in dance classes? The next advertisement could be perfect for you.
Dance Like Elaine!
If you like Elaine’s dance moves, you now can learn how to dance just like her. Spend an entire hour kicking and sticking your thumbs up.
And if you dress up as one of the show’s characters, you’ll get a 50% discount! That’s not too shabby.
Must Have Home Security Products
While you’re already in the home security aisle at the store, you might as well see what else they have to offer that you may not have thought of when walking in.
For example, did you ever think of putting up a sign that says “Please do not steal this”? It could really work!
Don’t Worry, the Bat is Soft
Just in case you were worried for a second, the bat is soft. So everything is perfectly okay. Your kid can go ahead and hit himself with the bat and try to beat his own record.
It’s the perfect gift for a kid that already has everything!
The Best Halloween Costume Ever
Stephen is the name of the costume model and the name of the costume itself. He can be the next person you want to be for Halloween.
You get a gray t-shirt and blue jeans for $29.99. And it’s best to wear a maroon hoodie to complete the outfit.
Please Take Her Baby
This toy baby is right next to the other toy babies and the baby is pretty much the same as the others. But the only difference is the fictional mom doesn’t want the baby anymore – it annoys her.
So now you can buy the FICTIONAL baby from her FICTIONAL mom who’s tired and needs some sleep. FICTIONAL.
An Underrated Cookbook
Ever tried cooking with gum? Probably not. But Dentyne has a cookbook with 15 delicious recipes that can be made with gum! Who knew?
Lasagna, casseroles, and even tuna salad! All with gum. Yum!
Stabby Patch Kid Collection
They look just like their competitors, the Cabbage Patch Kids, but these are darker and more suited to the horror story genre.
Stabby Patch Kids use nail files to attack their predators. Who are their predators? Good question.
A Second Home for Dave
Hey Dave, do you feel lonely and wish you could be surrounded by other men named Dave? You now have a place in the world. It’s called Dave Café and it’s made just for you.
We hope you enjoyed these ridiculously hilarious fake products. We sure did!